Porcupine's Place

A place for me to pen down my thoughts I guess...

Sunday, February 03, 2008

The Year Of The Rat

It is that time of the year again!!!
Two weeks of enjoyment where excessive eating, drinking and gambling are all rolled into a deliciously packaged holiday (sounds like some sort of faraway vacation eh?)
No doubt about it folks, Chinese New Year is here!!! (turn on music: Gong Xi ah Gong Xi)
One of those times when cartons of Carlsberg and boxes of ba kua are in high demand, literally snatched from the shelves!
And it is during this time that the Chinese shows off their hidden talents which society rarely knows about...

First up, the Drunken Master.
1. Drinks liquor like water
2. Comments that red wine tastes like Ribena
3. Face is ALWAYS blazing red throughout CNY
4. Talks about how lousy Malaysian politics is
5. Laughs like a jackass
6. Stays overnight at friend's place (if single), wife drives (if married)
7. Usually found wasted in some hidden corner of the house talking bullshit

Next, meet the Chow Yun Fatt
1. LOVES to play Black Jack or poker
2. Can't keep quiet throughout the whole game
3. Likes to peek slowly when opening the hidden card (thinks that doing so can change card)
4. Doesn't have a poker face but pretends to have
5. Always open smaller ang pows as "capital"

Introducing the Ah Mm, Ah Kor, Ah Yi, Ah Chim and Ah Kim Coalition
1. Very sociable upon meeting
2. Will then gather together with packets of drinks and kuaci (somehow, they just KNOW that it is THE TIME to gather, don't ask me how, nobody knows)
3. Will start talking about who's daughter got pregnant, who's son struck the lottery, who's friend makes good kuih kapit
4. Makes fun of relatives who are still single
5. "Conference" will go on for a mininum of 2 hours

This is shortly followed by the Pyromaniac
1. Usually some irritating cousin who thinks blowing up things are a way of showing his love to every member of the family
2. Will ALWAYS show off the load of firecrackers that has been bought
3. Blows up some poor creature that can be caught easily (usually cockcroaches)
4. ALWAYS end up getting smacked by the AAAAA Coalition for interfering with their conference

These are among the "categories" which I can think of right now...
Commenters are very much welcome to add to it...